Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The significance of my 28th....

So haven't blogged in a while. About a month I think. And well, today's topic isn't the most uplifting, but it's real. It's something I don't think I've ever shared with anyone and I'm not really sure why I'm sitting here typing and now sharing this with whoever reads my blog. This is something one would probably share with a therapist or loved one first, but I guess writing is my form of therapy. And I guess I'm getting more comfortable with sharing as I get older. I don't know. I wish I did. Either way, here goes nothing...

For most I would imagine that 28 isn't the most celebrated birthday. You've officially entered your "late 20's," your 10-year high school reunion is right around the corner, and are that much closer to the 30. For me, the number 28 is a bit different. 28 was the number that was associated with death when it first became a reality. I was 10 or so when I read that the median life expectancy for someone with CF was 28. I was 10 years old and scared and petrified that my life was almost half over. How could I die so soon? I hadn't even had a chance to live yet. My parents and doctors tried to explain to me that median is an average, but I was 10. I heard "death" and I heard "28" and I thought I was going to die in 18 years. Then one of my childhood friend's brother who also had CF passed away. He was 17, maybe 18 years old. That's when it hit. Death was real. I had a serious lung disease and I too might die young. Very frightening thought for a 10-year old to try to cope with, but that was reality. Learning life's tough lessons at a young age became the norm.

Most people say thanks once-a-year around Thanksgiving. Not the case for me. I'm thankful for every day. For all the things in my life, big and small. I'm thankful that I can wake up and smile and take a deep breath. Thankful that I can go to work (most days). Thankful that I can spend time with my mom, dad and brother and all the other amazing people in my life. Thankful that I get to celebrate marathons, birthdays and everything else with such a good group of human beings. Thankful that I can live. Thankful that I've had the opportunity to accomplish many great and cool things in my first 28 years of life. To be quite honest, I think I've experienced and learned more in 28 years than most learn in a lifetime. The older I get the more fortunate I feel I am and the more I appreciate everything and everyone in my life. But most of all I appreciate time. It's the most precious thing we have in this world. Don't waste any of it. Here's to another 28 great years!!!

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